Friday, July 31, 2009

Fat Princess

A new game is coming out for Playstation 3 or as the hipsters say PS3 that will have you changing your drawers in 3.54 seconds. It's called FAT PRINCESS. Let's breakdown how the game works: (via Wiki wiki)
In Fat Princess, the player joins one of two opposing teams consisting of up to 16 cartoon characters, each with the goal of rescuing their team's princess from the other team's castle (similar in many respects to capture the flag modes found in other multiplayer video games). In order to make their opponents' task more difficult, players can feed captive princesses more and more food so that she will become heavier and harder to carry back to her respective castle

You will see in video #2 HERE that they say it is similar to capture the flag, but instead of a flag, it's a fat f'ing princess. Ok I added the f'ing because this game is f'ing SWEEEEEEEEEET looking. Not only does it have blood and guts with up to 32 live players, it also has the spirit of Crosschips.
Now, there are a lot of games out there where in order to win you have to have athletic ability, kick ass ninja moves or a massive stockpile of weapons and ammo, things that Crosschippers are not motivated to take any part of in real life, ever. In this game, all you need is cake, a princess and minions to pump slices of cake down her throat at an uncomfortable pace to help your team to victory. Sound familiar? Yeah, it's a good days work here at Crosschips! (or a sick porno, what?)

Enjoy this trailer for a better look at the game:

It's the weekend and I don't normally issue Crosschips orders, but if you happen to be at an event that has cake, try to eat as many pieces as you can before someone questions what in the hell you are doing...should be fun.

CrosschipsBT: "does there make FAT PRINCE version for PLAYSTATION number ONE?"

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Let's put that heart of yours to work!

This little treat here called "The Bacon Explosion" is normally meant to be enjoyed by many at a tailgate party or something of that nature but here at Crosschips we indulge in what "healthy" people believe to be wrong because it makes our GUT FEELS SO RIGHT!!!

This link HERE can show you all the steps to cook up this bad boy and enjoy. Here is what you will need.

-2 pounds thick cut bacon
-2 pounds Italian sausage
-1 jar of your favorite barbeque sauce
-1 jar of your favorite barbeque rub
-12 toilet paper rolls
-1 plunger
-1 toilet

FOR YOUR CROSSCHIPS: MAKE THE BACON EXPLOSION and eat it with no help, every bite.
With a beautiful creation like this, I suggest you wash it down with multiple cold beverages. Minimum 12 beers. It's Friday, so we can do this!

CrosschipsBT: "bacon explosion not only LARGE LOG to eat but also PAINFUL LOG to deuce."

-thanks to Big Boutros for the find.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Baskin ROBBS

Time for a treat Crosschippers!!!!!!!
Pick up one of these Ice Creamy cakes and scarf it down for your best time.

CrosschipsBT: "not only get your belly FULL but also FREEZE BRAIN!"

Monday, July 27, 2009


Spell it and eat it people. Simple as that.

1 exception. You are not allowed to use alphabets cereal.

Here are some examples...

that's 19 hot dogs, 8 croissants and a donut.

Or you could just match the letters w/ food items in quantity. (13 items)


Thursday, July 23, 2009

Mailbag Question: Why come so much cheap food?

Hi! I enjoy your e-blog very much but I make lots of monies and enjoy things like crab & scallops or even some caviar. I also enjoy champagne and not beers. Will you have a Crosschips that features fine foods? Why come so much cheap food?


Thanks for the e-question.

At Crosschips we try to appeal to the every day eater. Only a small majority of Crosschippers can afford food items that COST THIS MUCH and if you feel the need to have some crab tails instead of chicken wings, you go right ahead and make that switch. The rest of us who work 60 hour weeks and make just enough income to get by will stick to our basic Crosschips regime and hope and pray we don't get laid off or fired due to this dump of an economy.

CrosschipsBT: "I take THICK hot dog over tiny fried SCALLOPS ALL DAY. Just Epinion."

FOOTBALL SEASON IS ONLY 43 DAYS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!-look forward to tailgating Crosschips & What-nots.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Arby's Day

So today we have a penny saving Crosschips for ya. Every Wednesday this summer Arby's has been doing promotional deals in order to sell more shit. This Wednesday (July 22nd) you can get a "Free Roastburger with any soft drink purchase."
Now on top of that, if you live in the Detroit Area, you can bring in a print out of theTigers Box Score for a free Roast Beef sandwich because they had three (3) home runs last night in a 9-7 W over Seattle. I'm not positive if you can get both sandwiches free with a singular soft drink purchase & print out of the box score but I have a back up plan to get you multiple free sandwiches this Wednesday.

1. Before you leave the house Wednesday, pack 3 completely different changes of clothing with you. You will most likely need a hat & pair of glasses.
2. Go to Arby's, order your free crap "to go"
3. Eat your free Roastburger & RB sandwich and your soft drink.
4. Change your clothing, put on a hat or something to throw off those geniuses at the counter/drive thru.
5. Repeat a 2nd and 3rd time.
YOU MUST: Get 3 complete orders (3 drinks, 3 Roastburgers & 3 RB's).

crosschipsBT: "Changing and eating REQUIRE good management skill but also CLOTHES. I Use ASSLESS CHAPS for 3rd round"

Here are the remaining Wednesday Freebies:
July 29th - Free FruiTea with any sandwich purchase
August 5th - Free Regular Roast Beef with any soft drink purchase
August 12th - Free Roast Chicken Club with any soft drink purchase
August 19th - Free FruiTea with any sandwich purchase
August 26th - Free Regular Beef ‘n Cheddar with any soft drink purchase

If you can get one of these please let me KNOW!!!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Crosschips Hoodie!

Special Thanks to Maize4Blue of the WLA for the production of this kick ass hoodie for sale HERE. This gorgeous hoodie comes in Navy blue and sports the logo:"I AM CROSSCHIPS!" . Made with •10 oz. fleece blend (90% cotton/10% polyester). It can only be purchased in XXXL which should fit great for most of our Crosschippers, but could be a little tight on: Kristie Alley, Charles Weis or John Jonathan Daly, but I'm sure they can manage.

-"Zip hoodie allows the paramedics to get to your heart in case something should go wrong during crosschipping, and they won't ruin your sweet hoodie in the process." - Maize4Blue

Well said. Be on the look out for the "I AM CROSSCHIPS!" Shirt coming soon!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

All You Can Eat Buffet

Waking up 30 minutes before you need to get to work can put a hamper on your breakfast plans. This is what happened to me Thursday morning and I was determined to gain that missed meal back during lunch.
People ask; “How can you get enough sustenance to equal both breakfast & lunch during a 1 hour lunch break?” Well its simple my fellow Crosschippers, head to an establishment that has unlimited supplies of food to fill your gut, all at the same flat rate. THE BUFFET.

Here is a list of the following well known buffets:

*Any Chinese Buffet ever, they are everywhere.
*Big Boys Breakfast
*Mr. Pita (not all locations)
*Pizza Hut (Lunch Buffet)
*Ponderosa Steak House
*Old County Buffet

I myself headed to the Mongolian Buffet in Warren, MICH. (pictured above) You can stuff your face for $6.99 during lunch hours. I know it may seem expensive for lunch, but check out what I had my friends.

Now, a typical meal at say Quiznos with CHIPS and a drink will run you $8 with a regular sandwich so the Buffet is a great way to eat at least 2.5 meals for the price of 1.

Your Crosschips for the day (Friday): Hit up a Buffet for lunch or dinner, match my 2 full plates & dessert for your best time. (I knocked it out in 27 minutes. The drive there and back + paying the bill, took 33 minutes = 1 hour)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tanker Truck Blowed UP!

please enjoy the sound clips.

A tractor trailer full of diesel fuel blowed up at the 9 mile bridge on SB I-75. This is in Hazel Park, aka: Hazel-tuckey. If you are near this area headed south on I-75 you are totally F'd. I rode my bike over to the Lincoln/75 overpass to check it out.
News Tracker: I mean, News E-tracker
9:02: And now some dumbass on the news believes WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!!!

9:04: Oh, Channel 4 has a ton of people watching the massive fire also. They are located 10 feet from a Mobile gas station on the same street corner. How excellent.

9:11pm: Whoa, the guy who gives me speeding tickets (picture: State Police Guy) says 3 semis have crashed...

9:13: Holy shiznit. The overpass has crashed, the fire truck on the overpass has gone with it and has just now exploded. And the news reported isn't listening to her anchorman, Ron Burgundy is PISSED!

9:20: Beer me a Miller Lite. A Meijer produce truck may be involved. Prices are going up!

9:25: A lady named "Lyle Cifuentes" ???? who works for channel 7 called in to say she lives near the scene. Great news breaking stuff here.

9:33: I just realized I-75 will be closed now for quite a long time to fix this crap. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf.






Want $100 for eating pizza? Check out this site for the rules:

Pizza Party's Pep Pep Pep Pepperoni Pizza

How does one go about winning $100 for eating pizza you ask? Easy, just finish our Belly Buster (20-inch pizza) topped with pepperoni, pepperoni Bagel Bites, pepperoni Pizza Rolls & pepperoni Hot Pockets in under 1 hour. It shouldn't be tough because it's so darned tasty!

Many have tried the Belly Buster Challenge but few have won. Hot dog eating champ of the world Joey "The Jaws" Chestnut held the record time of 17 minutes for quite a while but just recently Erik
"The Red" Denmark
broke it at 12 minutes 30 seconds. The images below are of a 12-inch medium pizza (click to enlarge).

Official Rules

  • Entrants must be 18 and fully complete an entry form
  • One person must eat ONE BELLY BUSTER pizza made with pepperoni, pepperoni Bagel Bites, pepperoni Pizza Rolls & pepperoni Hot Pockets in one hour or less
  • Entire pizza must be eaten including the crust
  • You may consume water or any other beverage
  • We will supply water, you pay for any other drinks
  • No dipping the pizza in the beverage
  • You must keep the pizza down until all the pizza is consumed
  • Management is the sole judge of completion of the challenge
  • If you can't keep it down YOU CLEAN IT UP

Belly Buster winners receive the following:

  • Refund of pizza price ($42.99)
  • One free XL pizza per month for the next 12 months
  • Your picture with date and time on the Wall of Fame
  • Free T-shirt and Belly Buster certificate
  • $100 Bill!!!
  • Fame & Fortune (subject to personality and charm)


20-inch diameter
315 Square Inches
Over 5lbs of food
Over 1lb of cheese
Pepperponi 4

An additional $100 to anyone who can beat Erik "The Red" Denmark's time of 12.5 minutes!!!

Now I Know not everyone is in California here so if you can't make it to this place, I suggest we do this as the Crosschips of the day because it looks damn good.



Monday, July 13, 2009

Battle of the Beasts

Look at these two big boys. Charlie Weis & Mark Mangino are two of the fattest men alive to coach college football.

coachBT's take: "Coaches not only FOLLOW Crosschips, but do PAGE per day, not just ONE assignment."

Weighing in at over 2 tons, these two coaches specifically request that their schools place wooden boards on the sidelines to support their giant, fat packed, front butted frames.

Now, in order not to die of overeating, I suggest you follow the rules on this one because these 2 can eat enough food to shut down an OCB.

So, what you need to do is pick a coach and consume 10% of their normal eating schedule for the day.

Breakfast: 1 box of lucky charms, 6 eggs, sunny side up w/ 6 pieces of toast. 12 sausage links & a gallon of milk.
Lunch: 3 foot Italian sub, 1 bag of ruffles & 5 20oz cokes.
Dinner: 7 plates at Red Lobster all you can eat.

Breakfast: Eat anything constantly from 8am to 11am
Lunch: Eat anything constantly from 11:30am to 3pm
Dinner: Eat anything constantly from 4pm to 8pm

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

9 & 9 in 9

After a long and needed vacation Crosschips is BACK!!! I hope you all didn't succumb to the evil ways of exercise and diet as I was off not exercising or dieting up north. I trust you all did your duty to complete your own Crosschips tasks, I know I sure did.

Now to keep us all motivated in our Crosschips and to increase fan support for the Detroit Tigers, I bring to you the 9 & 9 in 9. That's 9 hot dogs & 9 beers, in 9 innings.

Unless you make serious bankroll, I suggest you do this exercise at home and not at the ball park. Notice the price difference below…


At Comerica 





Hot Dogs 







23 oz Beers 








Grand Total: 



At Home 






Hot Dogs (8) 







8 Hot Dog Buns 






12pk of Beers 







Grand Total: 







If you complete this one at home you even get some leftovers if you're still hungry after the game!!!

Now, if the game goes into extra innings, feel free to keep on working it but the minimum amount is only 9 innings. Either way, enjoy the Crosschips & the game!


CrosschipBT's take:
"This is test that include knowledge of not only PACE but also ENDURANCE. Be sure to do HIP SWIVEL & GUT ROTATION stretch before e-vent, in my e-pinion."

Thursday, July 2, 2009