CROSSCHIPS: LET'S GO RED WINGS!!! (What your wings are eating to stay up on their Crosschips!)

"Bring it on Cindy Crosby..."

I know you have all asked yourself, "well sweet sassy molassy, how do those hockey players get so much energy?”

We have all wondered how these beardy's can skate around aimlessly for 60 minutes or more , score upwards of 4 goals and sustain their strength and agility day in and day out. I’ve watched every game during the playoffs, in High Def and have yet to see anyone on the bench eating a 2lb. Hungry Man meal as I would. So when do they do eat and are they members of “Crosschips”?

You bet your balls they are. By using the interwebs, I was able to obtain some photographic evidence of how our 2008 Stanly Cup Champs partake in “Crosschips”. It’s done before the games, during commercial breaks & after they beat the shiznit out of their opponent.

Notice Darren Helm here, chatting it up on the phone with probably one of the many celebrity hockey skanks while he holds his 3 foot chub sub ever so tightly before he chows down.

If you believe this photo to be photo shopped you can go straight to the 5th ring. How do you think the Red Wings are able to keep such superb talent with the low salary cap of the NHL? It’s because they have 20 pound, 3 foot subs and other awesome huge shit as you will notice below.

Drapes, seen here with a 100 lb turkey after they won the Stanley Cup last year. It’s got some carrots and stuffing, but you know Ilitch fed that thing Hot & Ready’s for the past year so it’s gonna be a BEAST.

Speaking of Pizza, below you can see one of my favorite players, Nick Lindstorm, wait. Nick-las Lids-t-rom? You know, the team Captain? Yeah, that guy. Here he is ready to hand out a ton of kick ass pizza to all his teammates as an appetizer to what is probably more pizza or giant bowls of Chex Mix (60% less fat, then potato CHIPS, damn).

Oh and let’s not think the team is focused on hockey during the whole entire game. See below, these quotes spoken were verified by the players in the photo below.