Thanksgiving is near and the smell of turkey, corn stuff and scotch are in the air. The preparation for this glorious day is extensive, the selections are bountiful and the hard work is well rewarded with stuffed stomachs and turkey comas. Crosschips enjoys this holiday because it brings together the family to celebrate the time honored tradition of “giving thanks” by stuffing your face like you haven’t eaten in weeks.
There are a lot of things going on this Thanksgiving that we must take into account. Things you don’t normally get to enjoy on a Thursday because you are stuck in an office cubicle, crunching numbers or perhaps writing Crosschips posts on a Word doc. (wut?) We will list these must see programs and we will incorporate some Crosschips into them for more enjoyment.
Morning: Sleep in. You will need the extra rest to have breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2nd dinner, and then turkey sandwiches.
11am: Price is Right: Probably one of the most underrated game shows in the history of television. The PIR is a must see when you have the day off. For this show we will have donuts and coffee along with some eggs and bacon. Every time a contestant wins or loses, eat something. Every time Drew Carey isn’t funny, eat something. Every time a contestant has a chance to win a car or jumps up and down like a moron, eat something. This should get you primed for the next event.
Noon: Michigan vs. Creighton (ESPN) in the Old Spice Classic BBall tournament. This game should be easy for MICH but just to make if fun, crack out the brew doggers and have a drink every time MICH scores. Enjoy some CHIPS and DIP whilst doing such.
12:30pm: LOLIONS vs. Green Bay: This is going to be difficult to watch while MICH is playing but I suggest you DVR it and catch it from beginning to end (ffwd through commercials) while continuing to drink beers and eat finger foods and some lunch. Pigs in a blanket sounds pretty goodt.
4pm: 1st Dinner: If you can see any part of your plate other than where you put your thumb while carrying it, you are not good enough. Pack that plate up as much as you can. Eat it for your best time and make sure everyone at the table can hear you chewing and saying complements on the food like: “Yeah you’re goodt.” Or “OMG this corn stuff is the shit!” Maybe you should hold off on that last one to keep it PG.
5pm: Scotch: Have a nice tall glass of Scotch on the rocks. 3 fingers, minimum. Be sure to let it bake in the ice at 350 for a little bit before sipping away.
6pm: 2nd Dinner: It’s exactly what it sounds like. FILL IT UP!
8:30pm: Turkey Sandwich: I don’t know what it is, but there hasn’t been a thanksgiving I can recall where I didn’t make a turkey sandwich before heading up to bed to pass out in a Tryptophan induced coma. So be sure to enjoy yourself one or two.
9:30pm: Pass out: You have spent all day eating and drinking, your pants have been unbuttoned for the last 3 hours and you can hardly keep your eyes open enough to watch TV. You accomplished a whole lot today in the world of Crosschips. You ate 14 servings in less than 12 hours. Head up to bed or just lay over on the couch, you’re tuckered fella.
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