GOBBLE GOBBLE

Thanksgiving is near and the smell of turkey, corn stuff and scotch are in the air. The preparation for this glorious day is extensive, the selections are bountiful and the hard work is well rewarded with stuffed stomachs and turkey comas. Crosschips enjoys this holiday because it brings together the family to celebrate the time honored tradition of “giving thanks” by stuffing your face like you haven’t eaten in weeks.

There are a lot of things going on this Thanksgiving that we must take into account. Things you don’t normally get to enjoy on a Thursday because you are stuck  in an office cubicle, crunching numbers or perhaps writing Crosschips posts on a Word doc. (wut?) We will list these must see programs and we will incorporate some Crosschips into them for more enjoyment.

Morning: Sleep in. You will need the extra rest to have breakfast, lunch, dinner, 2^nd dinner, and then turkey sandwiches.

11am: Price is Right: Probably one of the most underrated game shows in the history of television. The PIR is a must see when you have the day off. For this show we will have donuts and coffee along with some eggs and bacon. Every time a contestant wins or loses, eat something. Every time Drew Carey isn’t funny, eat something. Every time a contestant has a chance to win a car or jumps up and down like a moron, eat something. This should get you primed for the next event.

Noon: Michigan vs. Creighton (ESPN) in the Old Spice Classic BBall tournament. This game should be easy for MICH but just to make if fun, crack out the brew doggers and have a drink every time MICH scores. Enjoy some CHIPS and DIP whilst doing such.

12:30pm: LOLIONS vs. Green Bay: This is going to be difficult to watch while MICH is playing but I suggest you DVR it and catch it from beginning to end (ffwd through commercials) while continuing to drink beers and eat finger foods and some lunch. Pigs in a blanket sounds pretty goodt.

4pm: 1^st Dinner: If you can see any part of your plate other than where you put your thumb while carrying it, you are not good enough. Pack that plate up as much as you can. Eat it for your best time and make sure everyone at the table can hear you chewing and saying complements on the food like: “Yeah you’re goodt.” Or “OMG this corn stuff is the shit!” Maybe you should hold off on that last one to keep it PG.

5pm: Scotch: Have a nice tall glass of Scotch on the rocks. 3 fingers, minimum. Be sure to let it bake in the ice at 350 for a little bit before sipping away.

6pm: 2^nd Dinner: It’s exactly what it sounds like. FILL IT UP!

8:30pm: Turkey Sandwich: I don’t know what it is, but there hasn’t been a thanksgiving I can recall where I didn’t make a turkey sandwich before heading up to bed to pass out in a Tryptophan induced coma. So be sure to enjoy yourself one or two.

9:30pm: Pass out: You have spent all day eating and drinking, your pants have been unbuttoned for the last 3 hours and you can hardly keep your eyes open enough to watch TV. You accomplished a whole lot today in the world of Crosschips. You ate 14 servings in less than 12 hours. Head up to bed or just lay over on the couch, you’re tuckered fella.

Bring on the Goodt Luck!

LUCKY FOOD!!!

We need to bring some good luck to the Michigan Football team as they head to Wi$con$in this weekend to test their grit at “Camp Randall $tadium”. That’s why we are going to take these lucky foods and put a spin on them to make them more Crosschips approved.

Questions from CrosschipsBT:

“Why come Michigan need luck?” Well, because they are one win away from being bowl eligible and have lost 5 of their last 6 games. Wi$con$in is also ranked 20^th and rarely loses games at home. Since 2005 Wi$con$in is 29-3 at Camp Randall. This place can get loud and their fans are quite peculiar. Here are a couple of their regular activates that could be a part of their home field success:

“Is it because of their “Jump Around” tradition?:

“where fans dance to the House of Pain song of the same name. This takes place between the third and fourth quarters.” - wiki

Or maybe it’s because of their kind fanbase?:

“Badger fans perform a call-and-response chant before kickoffs; however, theirs is much more vulgar than many others. Normally, the east half of the stadium taunts the west side by yelling "Eat shit!" while the west side replies with "Fuck you!" - wiki

I’m sure Michigan felt rattled at M$U, Iowa and maybe a little at Illinois, but they should be ready for what the Cheese heads bring to the table. Michigan needs this win badly and must not be rattled by lame songs and chants. If they can’t get it here, they have to get it done at home against Ohio State who happens to be in the running for the Big Ten Championship (OMG NO WAY).

“Can MICH do win game this weekend?” Of course, BT. Iowa beat them at home and we’ve all seen that Iowa isn’t the greatest team every made. In the last few years, Wi$con$in has had close home games with weak teams which proves anyone has a shot.

• Northern Illinois 28-20, 2009
• Cal Poly 36-35 OT, 2008
• The Citadel 45-31. 2006 (I know 14 isn’t soooo close, but it’s Citadel.)

“Prediction of score also FINAL OUTCOME?”

Now Michigan’s odds are not great. They are a 9 point dog and their main RB is injured AGAIN (Minor). But I think if the defense steps up like it has been SUPPOSED to and the offense keeps the momentum going from the Purdue game (36pts), all 80,321 red and white pajama wearing cheese heads will see their team lose another one at home. I’m gonna go ahead and say with our help by eating the below lucky food items, MICH WILL BE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIN’ IT!!!!!!!!!! MICH 27 – Wiscy 24

(Eat/drink the CROSSCHIPS ones)

(1)  Blackeyed Peas:  A tradition in the American South, where many people believe "Eat poor on New Year's; eat fat the rest of the year." Normally served cooked with ham hocks, seasonings, onion and garlic in a dish called "Hoppin John."

CROSSCHIPS: Black Tacos: First of all, I hate the Blackeyed Peas, they have ruined sporting events since the Pistons 2004 title run. First with “Let’s get it started (in here)” and now “I’ve got a feeling (woo hoo)” Just cut it out FERGIE!

(2)  Cabbage:  the leaves represent paper currency and it features the color of money. Anyone for a whopping big bowl of cole slaw?

CROSSCHIPS: CHIPS: Potato chips are delicious, you call them chips, you use chips at a casino to gamble, chips at a casino are worth cash, BOOM CURRENCY.

(3)  Grapes:  Many Cubans believe that eating a dozen grapes as the clock strikes midnight and the New Year is ushered in brings prosperity in the months ahead.

CROSSCHIPS: BOOZE: Grapes are made into Wine, wine is booze, therefore drink any booze you like.

(4)  Lentils: Take a tip from the Italians and serve pork sausage cooked over a bed of lentils in a dish called "Cotechino" - the fat from the pork represents richness yet to come and the beans symbolize the plenty ahead.

CROSSCHIPS: PORK & BEANS: That’s what I read in what it says above. Pork = richness, beans equal constant flow of cash money. Doooooooin’ it!

(5)  Noodles:  The longer the better, according to many Buddhists, as long noodles represent longevity and overall prosperity.

CROSSCHIPS: SPAGHETTI: First of all. “The longer the better” ^^^ That’s what she said! Heyyyyooo! But yes, eat some spaghetti for MICH!

(6) Apple rings: actually, any foods in the shape of a ring (bell pepper rings, onion rings) are considered good luck because they symbolize coming full circle.

CROSSCHIPS: ONION RINGS / Donuts . Simple enough.

(7)  Greens:  any vegetable in the "greens" category including kale and spinach are considered lucky foods because both their color and leaf shape represents paper currency.

CROSSCHIPS: Mountain Dew: I couldn’t think of any Crosschips approved food that is green. If you have any ideas, please email me! But this can be mixed with vodka, which is encouraged.

Do it up CROSSCHIPPERS!  ENJOY AND GO BLUE!!!!!!!!

Keep that Crosschips meal safe babby!

Whenever Crosschipping outdoors, please use the following.

Don’t worry about protecting yourself from infectious bug bites, keep your food bug free with the net food protector thingy.  Available on Crosschips! (May not be sold at Crosschips)

For Friday: Have yourself 3.46 square feet of Pizza.  Because who doesn’t like PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA??????

Oh my talking bird

Its all here for you…as long as you choose to stay…

1. FAIL

Christmas MUSICK?  WHY COME?>?>???

:(

Checking our Crosschips Progress

We started this e-blog back in April and decided it would be best to keep track a couple of members progress throughout their Crosschipping journey.  The two subjects we picked were our biggest (Fat Ass) and smallest (Lil Crosschipper) members.  Notice the chart below as we tracked their weight gain at the start of each month.

As you can see, the first few months of Crosschipping always start with a slow weight gaining process.  This start to a new diet and the warm summer months only makes the average weight increase around 45 lbs.  Now, notice the spike towards the end of August and into September.  This is due to Crosschips being combined with football season, one of the laziest seasons known to all mankind. 

I would just like to congratulate these two members as well as the rest of you all for believing in CROSSCHIPS!!!